dear broken heart..

this post is dedicated to all those going through difficult matters of the heart!

"diary of a broken heart", this was my planned title for a diary-of-sort that I wanted to write when I was a brokenhearted once. I thought to myself, what if isulat ko lahat, lahat ng nararamdam ko araw araw sa loob ng isang buong taon, then i'd be able to read it when i'm healed, and see my journey from a new point of view, from denial to anger to bitterness to hope to healing or (whatever jumbled order you've experience in your own lovelife) and maybe, It might be able to help future brokenhearts out there.

but, I never got to writing it.

siguro dahil sa sobrang sakit, kapag naiisip kong magsulat, nananalo na lang yung kagustuhan kong magmukmok sa isang tabi. imbes na mag-effort pa ko na mag-isip at mag-pagod, ginusto ko na lang na wala na lang akong intindihin. hanggang sa lumipas ang mga linggo at buwan, I went through all kinds of emotions (na slightly nakakabaliw talaga yung iba ha!), until one day, I was okay!

having said all that, and having heard some of the most saddening break-up stories for the past weeks, allow me to try to reconstruct a few of the things i've learned in life, and love, that might help of that broken heart of yours or of someone you know.

1. on advice.

kapag brokenhearted ka.. no advice said to you will make you feel better. none. as in. wala. kahit ano, walang effect. kapag brokenhearted ka, the only thing that you think will make you feel better is if the one you love will say they love you too. but they won't. (in some cases, they won't ever, but in some, they won't just for this point in time.) Hugs will comfort you, concerned texts will make you smile, but no amount of advice will make you feel better.. unless! unless you decide to let it make you feel better. don't be pressured though to follow everone's advice. kanya-kanya lang yan. of the hundred cliche lines thrown at you at an attempt to make you feel better, most will not make you feel better (in fact, some will make you worse), but there will be few major lines (not necessarily given by those closest to you, mind you) that will speak to you and touch your heart and soothe your soul. those pieces of advice you hold on to.

2. on prayer

a brokenheart will wake up some days so unbelievably hopeless and wanting to just stay in bed all day. some will even go all out in saying they want to die (but of course, you don't really want to die, right?) a brokenheart will wake up some days feeling somewhat rested and peaceful, but with a slight fear that they might encounter something that day that will bring back all the pain. whatever mood the brokenheart wakes up in, one thing remains. it's a broken heart. and this may sound cheesy or false to some, but there is only one thing that can heal all things broken. our LoRd JeSuS ChriST. when your heart is peaceful, give thanks. when you heart is troubled, still give thanks and ask for deliverance. when your heart is shattered into a million pieces, still give thanks, and ask that you may learn whatever life lesson it is that he wants you to learn. in both high and low, give thanks, because it is one of the surest things in life that GoD only works for the good of those who love him.

3. on moving on.

don't be pressured! for some it takes weeks. for some it takes, months. for some, years! of course no one likes the pain that a broken heart brings. (its pain like no other! araaay! grabbeeh talaga!) but, you have to go through it. there's no short cut, there's no other way. go through it. go and let it out. cry before you go to sleep, cry when you wake up, cry in the bathroom, cry to your friends. lock yourself in the room, stay in bed all day, don't talk to anyone for hours, make senti all you want. do it all. don't let anybody to stop you. (but don't let it get in the way of school or work or the things that you have to do either! okay? okay.) feel all those yucky, disgusting, heart-shattering feelings, curl it all up into thisunbelievably sad ball, and one day, when you are ready, throw it out in the window, it will happen for you. I know you feel it won't, that the day you will be okay will never come, but it will. have faith, it will

let me stop at this third point and end by saying that i've felt those feeling of hopelessness and worthlessness that you might be feeling right now. and, it really does. but hey. nobody said that it would be easy, and nobody said that you have to do it alone

all this I share with pure sincerity from the bottom of my happy heart, to your soon-to-be happy heart! :)