PaRT Two oF my posT ThiS DaY

Its 12.22am and I am again officially bored 'coz wave's quiet storm is over. *deep breath! I am a bit well now.

My thoughts..
I've been a stubborn lately... I hate myself so much every time I become someone I would really hate. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy. I don't know why I'm like this. There are times that I am such a pessimistic and a skeptical bitch. Ugh! I hate myself!
I am the first person to admit I am insecure. As much as I would like to be, I can never be 100% totally confident, it's just not me. There has always been something I have been insecure about. And I guess it’s something I begrudgingly accept, because no matter how much effort I make to try and be better, insecure thoughts just creep back in.

I am always a friend to someone and boost everyone's confidence, and try to quell their insecurities. Very ironic to say, it's because I don't think they should have to feel that way and doesn't have anything to be insecure about. However, when it comes to taking my own advice, or applying that same belief to me, it just categorically does not work.

I hate the fact that I'm hating others and trying to put the blame on them, while in fact what really bother me are the insecure thoughts that I am concealing inside me. My insecurities may have been caused by not trusting myself, with anything I am capable of. I would just like to clear that I am not writing this blog to receive compliments, sympathy, or anything to that effect; I'm simply writing it because for me, writing is like therapy. It's better for me than vocalizing much when it comes to personal thoughts especially, I'm too emotional, and writing is something I can do best.

Sometimes, I would just wanted not to be one of his contacts in every net accounts. 'coz despair always creeps in. but, as I cried awhile ago, I fell asleep till I woke up at around 6pm for being so busy on different stuffs just this week. and, I am ok!

I know that tomorrow will be another better day!