The Good news and the BAd news!..

Oh my!.. I don't know how And where should I start ..

sa sobrang dami ng nangyare.. and since.. di ako nakapag-update ng blog ko 2 days ago.. i'll include na lang it in here.. so.. yesterday.. was the start of the org achuchuchu!.. so!.. I signed up in "Theatro de artes", "Lasallian Program", & "the Lasalle Chorale" after signing up.. I found myself so stupid kasi.. I haven't read the date of the audition.. I just saw the word Friday.. di ko pala ginala yung mata ko.. there was a specific date pala written above it.. the date was june 27 @ Pavillion. and oh my God!.. kanina ko lang din nalaman na ngayon talaga yung audition.. so.. the audition started at 10:30-1:30.. nagkaron pa ng conflict on my time.. kasi.. may prof na kame on my English Development Program subject.. so.. ayun!.. humabol pa ren ako ng 1:30.. ang thankful naman ako kahit pano kasi very considerate naman yung mga naghandle ng audition.. so.. nakakanta naman ako.. although syempre!.. nakaka-tense.. kasi nahihiya ako.. and nakakahingal pa.. kasi super nagtatakbo talaga ko with edric!.. uhhhhhh... thanks to edric.. kasi sinamahan nya ko.. and syempre.. as well as Gillian!.. very supportive!.. feeling mga stage parents ko.. at naku!.. eto naman si edric napaka-fickle minded.. sabi nya mag-aaudition daw sya.. di naman!.. hmmmpt!.. anyway.. thanks to him!.. ayun.. after ng audition.. kumain na kame sa Jollibee .. nakakatawa kasi pinagttripan nila lahat ng fast food chain.. anyway.. so.. ayun.. I arrived at home at exactly 3:25.. pagdating ko naman sa bahay!.. grabeh!.. parang may interview ng pulis.. baket daw nalate ako ng uwe.. at sino daw kasama kong naglunch.. wth!.. well anyway.. I'm still thinking about my audition kanina!..

next chapter..

Bad news:

@ 5:20.. I went out of the house just near by the gate of us.. and then.. yung kasam-bahay ng neighbor namen.. asked me kung anong oras na.. and then sinabi ko "it's already 5:20." and then.. I asked her why.. and then she replied at me "kasi si jana wala pa.. yung mommy nya hindi lumalabas.. di pa sya sinusundo.. 4:10 ang uwian nila hanggang ngayon nasa school pa sya" and then sabi ko naman.. "katukin nyo na si ate analyn, kasi si jana nasa school pa.. kawawa naman, naghihintay.." and then I went back to my room.. after few minutes.. yung mga tao outside the house we're shouting and really, really ever freaking out!.. so.. ako naman ininternalize ko muna for how many seconds.. so akala ko naman masaya lang sila.. and then.. nagdecide na kong lumabas kasi talagang antagal na ng sigawan.. as in sobra!.. so.. paglabas ko.. yung house nung neighbor namen na sila ate analyn.. which is.. katapat lang ng bahay namen.. umuusok na yung loob ng bahay nila.. so.. ako naman.. I don't know what to do.. kasi. I still don't know what's happening eh.. and then the people we're shouting like "oh my God!.. tumawag kayo ng bombero.. nasusunug yung bahay nila analyn" so paglabas ko.. super kapal na ng usok.. eh my little sister and my two brothers were playing outside.. so what I did first.. I was really shouting like.. "oh my gosh!.. nasan si julia, si carlo, si migs!..si daddy nasan? what's happening?.. baket?.. nasan na si ate analyn, si Jana, si jeffrey, si justin?" and then pag labas ko pa.. nakita ko yung kasambahay nila na si rodelyn.. umiiyak.. so akala ko naman natakot sya sa mga aso.. yun pala.. she's already asking for a help!.. she's really crying and sinasabi nya na "tulungan nyo kame yung bahay namen nasusunug na,.." so.. ako naman hindi ko alam kung kukuha ba ko ng tubig or lalapitan ko yung mga anak nya.. (my God!.. in my whole life!.. ngayon lang talaga ko nakakita at naka-experience ng ganun.. sobrang iba yung feeling!.. grabe!..) since.. I can't do anything.. kinuha ko yung mga anak nya.. and then.. pinatabi ko sila.. eh since katapat lang ng bahay namen yung house nila.. yung usok napupunta samen.. and yung buong area ng strret namen.. super as in mega usok talaga!.. kitang-kita ko talaga with my two eyes kung pano nilalamon ng apoy yung bahay nila!..grabeh!.. nakakapanghina!.. at nakakapang-lumo.. habang pinanood ko yung nangyayare.. sobrang I cried with tears talaga!.. na.. super thankful ako.. kasi hindi nangyare sa'men yun.. everybody was around.. tumutulong sila na patayin yun apoy!.. and I know that each and everyone did really tried their best para mapatay yung apoy.. pero.. they didn't make it.. and bigla kong naalala!.. her daughter is still in school.. so what I did.. i went back to the house.. kinuha ko yung susi ng kotse!.. I drove to school to fetch the girl.. and then.. pagdating ko ng school.. ayaw pang i-release yung bata.. for safetiness. and then i said she's my neighbor.. pinasusundo na.. and then.. pagdating ko ng school.. the child told me.. "nasan si mama?" and then i just told her.. nasa bahay nyo.. pinasusundo ka saken ni yaya rodelyn.. and then.. upon going out of the school gate.. nakita namen yung mga bumbero.. syempre.. di ko muna sinabi sa bata.. kasi baka mahirapan sya.. and then sabi nya sa'ken "saan kaya may sunog?.. may mga bumbero".. so.. nung narinig ko syang nagsalita ng ganun.. I was like.. uhhhhh oh my god!.. nakakahabag naman.. I don't know how will i tell her.. na bahay na pala nila yung nasusunog.. pagbaba namen ng kotse.. I get her.. and then.. I hugged her... and then sabi nya "anong nangyayare? bahay ba namen yung nasusunog?" after ng ilang seconds.. lumuha na sya.. Diyos ko!.. hindi ko talaga alam kung anong klaeng comfort ang gagawen ko.. naiyak din ako.. sobrang nakakahabag talaga yung nangyare.. and then.. i told her.. "stop crying na.. hayaan mo na yun.. napapalitan naman yun eh.. those we're just material things.. and I know that your dad will do something to it" eh since.. they're rich naman.. kaya naman nila talaga!.. pero.. napaka-dami na kasi nilang nainvest dun sa bahay na yun eh.. and actually kaka-renovate lang ng bahay nila.. kahapon lang natapos gawin.. *sigh.... sabi nga nila "manakawan ka na, wag lang masunugan" grabeh talaga!.. as in walang natira.. siguro ang na-save lang talaga nila.. was there car and yung dalawang motor nila.. other than that!... wala na!.. and nakaka-badtrip pa!.. antagal dumating ng mga bumbero!.. nakaka-high blood.. I can't even asked for any help.. kasi yung cellphone ko nasa loob ng kwarto.. nagchcharge kasi.. eh.. pinatay naman yung fuse.. kaya ayun!.. grabeh!.. nakakalungkot talaga!.. sila pa man din yung naglalarawan ng isang happy family dito sa buong subdivision.. their kids are very intelligent&smart.. and even them.. ayun.. her husband naman was still in work.. dumating na ng quarter to nine.. grabeh talaga!.. until now.. nanginginig pa ren yung buong katawan ko.. ngayon pa lang nagrereact sa katawan ko sa mga nangyare kanina.. *sigh.. sana maka-move on sila agad!.. pero.. the wife naman.. was like.. uhhgg!.. nagkaron ng nervous breakdown!.. duhh.. I'm a psychologist.. (naks! di nga?.. hahaha!!!..) well.. I guess.. napaka-hirap talaga!.. anyway.. that's the Bad news that I have.. i'm into good news mode naman..

Good news:

3 weeks ago.. my mom.. and as well as us.. the whole family we're kinda depress.. kasi.. nagkaron ng problem sa company nila.. nagkaron ng union!.. meaning.. may mga nagtayo ng samahan.. against the officials and boards of the company.. those employees we're requesting for salary increase!.. so.. syempre.. di naman ganun kadali ang magtaas ng sahod para sa mga manggawa.. so.. what they did.. nag-rally sila.. infront of the company.. and hindi lang yun.. yung pera ng company sa bank.. ehhh.. pina-hold nila.. so.. pano sila bibigan ng sahod.. kaya ayun.. nagkaron ng problema.. so what they did is that.. nagdecide ang owner ng company na itigil muna ang operation ng pag-export ng mga products nila into other country.. so.. pati kame nagkaron na ren ng problem sa house.. as in.. everyone in the house we're always on the stressed mode.. nappressure.. lahat2 ng emotions.. nasa bahay na.. and I've noticed that for the past 3 weeks.. she's always out of her mind.. as in absent minded parati.. wala sa sarili.. and we know.. that it is because of what's happening in her office.. and nadagdagan pa yung stressed nya.. when we found out that I have to fix a lot of things to myself.. unang-una na dyan is.. yung Thermo Mandicular disorder (TMD)ko.. meaning.. naipit yung nerves ng buto ko.. kaya yung blood vessels ko nagkaron ng malfunction.. kaya ang naging epekto eh. yung laging pagsakit ng likod at ulo ko.. so.. as soon as possible kailangan.. magamot na to.. kasi ako ren ang mahihirapan.. and.. ang big issue dito.. was.. kailangan ng big amount of money for this.. more or less P60,000 para matreat at tuluyan ng mawala tong disorder na to. ayun!.. kaya nadagdagan na naamn ang problem ni mother earth.. and then.. I called up my Tita.. awhile ago.. to tell everything about what happened here.. and then.. she told me "ano ba yan!.. nakatanggap nga kame ng good news from your mom.. my bad news ka namang dala" so medyo napaisip ko dun ah.. sabi ko anong good news.. and then.. my tita told me.. "eh kasi yung mom mo nag-apply na ng work sa ibang company.. and ayun.. natanggap agad sya... kahapon siya nag-apply.. tangga na siya kanina" my gosh!.. sobrang naiyak talaga ko!.. it's a tears of joy!.. kasi iniisip ko.. oo nga may savings nga kame.. pero nauubus naman yun.. eh.. san kame kukuha ng money pag wala na yuhn.. and thank God!.. sobrang bait talaga nya!.. Ilang beses na nya kong napapabilib by his power.. sobrang iyak talaga ko ng iyak!.. grabeh!.. tuwang-tuwa talaga ko!.. eh iniisip ko kasi kailangan medyo magtipid muna ko.. and then!.. biglang good news pala!
.. but it doesn't necessarily mean.. na mag-aaksaya na ko.. syempre.. kailangan ganun paren di'ba.. *sigh!.. super nakaka-pagod!.. this day.. sana naman.. bukas mag-tommy day ako.. wula lang.. pero.. actually.. sana ngayon ang tommy day ko ehh.. kaso.. yung neighbor ko naman ang minalas..

sTaLkeR?..

now, I can consider that i'm a little bit ok!.. kasi.. based on my investigation,.. 'di naman talaga sila ni Mr. Achuchuchu!.. kasi she has a boyfriend!.. and.. her boyfriend pala is the first target of mine!.. so now!.. I know already!.. pero!.. I need to investigate more.. although confirmed ko na, na hindi talaga sila nung guy ko(what!.. my guy?.. hahaha!!!..) I do still have something to know!.. and.. yun ay!.. kung meron syang Girlfriend talaga!.. as in not in school.. malay ko ba naman kung meron di'ba!.. para @least malaman ko kung dapat na ba talaga kong umiwas sa kanya kasi.. if ever.. e di.. it will be easy for me na lang that there will be no more chance for us to be together and for me to get him!.. But!.. for now!.. mag-iinvestigate muna ko.. hay naku!.. nag-mumuka na kong stalker ne'to!.. anyway.. My gosh!.. grabeh yung rels (religion subject)kanina ewan ko ba naman.. baket sobrang inantok talaga ko ng bonggang bongga!.. I guess it is because of the rush english homework yesterday night.. yah! it was!.. it's my fault.. it was given to us by the teacher last fri. pa.. pero.. kagabe ko lang ginawa.. ayun!.. I should be going out pa sana kanina!.. but since.. super bonggang-bonggang inaantok talaga ko.. I went home agad!.. ohw!.. shocks!.. Algebra pala bukas!.. as in super in a major power ang leveling ng utak namen.. anyway.. just updating!..

CheCk-uP DaY!..

Oh my!.. just got home!.. I had an appointment with my orthodontics/dentist!.. *sigh!.. super nakakapagod!.. eh pano ba naman kasi!.. tama ba naman mag-commute kame!.. grabe!.. hassle!.. wala man lang masakyang FX!.. kaya ayun!.. nauwi tuloy kame sa super as in mega nakakahilong jeepney!.. oh common!.. sobra!.. with diffrent types of person!.. as in makakakita ka ng smoker, lasenggo, employees at kung anik-anik pa!.. honestly!.. nakakabanas talaga!.. pero ang pinaka-masaklap!.. I found out that I really have to wear Brackets/trail/ners para lang ma-treat tong TMD ko.. it's a disorder of joints malapit sa ears.. part ng mouth!.. duhh!.. I never had a dream na mamg-suot ng brackets through my life!.. as in NEVER!.. hay naku!.. super million thanks talaga!.. dahil kung 'di dahil sa school ko.. I wouldn't know na meron akong disorder of joints na medyo delikado din.. at yun pala yung reason kung baket ako nakakaramdam ng backache at headache!.. @least!.. di pa ganon kalala.. waaahh!!.. and as usual!.. time to go to school na naman for tomorrow!.. at ang first subject ko pa is Chemistry.. and I think We do have Quiz!.. what?!.. yes!.. I guess!.. :c anyway.. til 12 noon lang naman ako.. at syempre.. super as in mega pahinga lang gagawin ko.. kasi on thursday!.. I do still have an appointment with Dr. Lotok my orthodontic/dentist. and my gosh!.. we do have an assignment pa pala with Mr. Arlan our Filipino professor!.. nakakaiyak!.. kasi 3 hours na naman ang subject ko with him!.. ano pa nga ba!.. *sigh!.. at ako lang pala uuwi mag-isa for tomorrow.. eh kasi naman!.. and my gosh!.. I forgot!.. hahaha!!!.. as in feel na feel ko naman kanina while i'm with my dentist!.. tawag na nila sa'ken doc. hahaha!!!.. doktora ng mga baliw!.. hahaha!!!.. Hello!.. i'm just in 1st year!.. pero.. siguro nga pagka-graduate ko.. mag-mmajor na ko.. out of the country(naks!.. hahaha!!!.. taas ng pangarap!.. hahaha!!!.. why not!?.. nothing is impossible!..) *sigh!.. I'll see what will happen for tomorrow!.. I have to sleep na.. :)

DepReSSeD mOdE!..

there are those times that you feel like on top of the world.. but then again there are also those times that you feel you're at the lowest of all possible lows in the world. i'm in that mood right now. It's weird how these two things sayings are so contradicting, yet both so true.. that "when you're down, there's no way but up", and that "what comes up, must come down". yeah I guess Its what makes life exciting, dynamic and fun.. but its different when you talk about it, as to when you're actually in it.


Mayroon akong nais malaman
Maaari bang mag tanong
Alam mo bang matagal na kitang iniibig
Matagal na 'kong naghihintay


Ngunit, mayron kang ibang minamahal
Kung kaya't ako'y di mo pinapansin
Ngunit ganon pa man, nais king malaman mo
Ang puso kong ito'y para lang sa iyo

CHORUS
Nandito ako umiibig sa iyo
Kahit na, nagdurugo ang puso
Kung sakaling, iwanan ka niya
Huwag kang mag alaala
May nagmamahal sa 'yo
Nandito ako

3
Kung ako ay iyong iibigin
'Di kailangan ang mangamba
Pagka't ako ay para mong alipin
Sa iyo lang wala nang iba

Ngunit mayron ka nang ibang minamahal
Kung kaya't ako'y di mo pinapansin
Ngunit ganon pa man nais kung malaman mo
Ang puso kong ito'y para lang sa iyo

Nandito ako umiibig sa iyo
Kahit na nag durugo ang puso
Kung sakaling iwanan ka niya
Huwag kang mag alaala
May nagmamahal sa iyo
Nandito ako

:'C yes I am really crying!(I know its too corny!.. but I am a very transparent person) I'm not that so sure yet if it is really true.. based on the situation yesterday!.. yes!.. I saw them that they're are together(eh since nagdududa na nga ako kung ano ba talagang klaseng relationship meron sila) I was thinking about it since the time that I saw them.. eh I do still have 1 subject yesterday!.. imagine!.. d tuloy ako nakapag-concentrate! ang baba tuloy ng practicum ko!.. *sigh!.. inaaasar tuloy ako ni Gillian.. emotionally disturb daw ako.. well.. tama naman sya!.. kasi since nakita ko yun!.. di na nya ko makausap ng matino eh.. as in para lang syang nakikipag-usap sa hangin.. kasi talagang sobrang.. di ko alam kung anong dapat kong ma-feel eh.. baket ba ganun?.. nung una.. The other guy ung target ko.. but since i've noticed na.. super sweet sila nung girl na un!.. umiwas na ko.. as in.. binaling ko na lang ung attention ko into different guy.. which was Mr. achuchuchu.. pero.. baket ganon!.. parang ganun na naman yata si girlaloo!.. ngaun naman dun sya nakadikit.. pano na?!.. super duper naguguluhan na ko.. after ng class. I went to the Gym para maglabas ng heartache!.. nilabas ko galet ko sa mga weights na nandun!.. lahat tuloy sila nakatingin sa'kin.. at ang lakas pa ng ulan.. muntik pa kong masagasaan kahapon.. kasi nga wala na ko sa sarili ko!.. I arrived at home at 7:30pm.. tapos.. pagdating ko ng bahay.. may bisita pa pala kame..(well.. expected naman na un eh).. nakakahiya lang was.. Hindi ko man lang nakuhang batiin sila at ngumiti..as in diretcho na talaga ko sa kwarto!.. super as in mega kahihiyan talaga yun!.. yuck!.. ano bang nangyayare sa'ken!.. upon entering my room.. kinukuha ko pa lang yung key ng kwarto ko.. as in super iyak na ko ng iyak!.. kasi naman eh!.. ang hirap talaga mag-expect ng something great!.. *sigh!.. and as in antagal ko pang umiyak before ako nagbihis.. nakalimutan ko pa na.. nagyayaya pala kong gumimik!.. at syempre!.. ako ang taya!.. kaya ayun!.. we went to.. as usual!.. Eastwood Libis!.. 1 1/2 hour pa kong nag-iiyak!.. kung di pa ko kinatok sa kwarto.. siguro di talaga ko lalabas.. so.. nakarating kame ng eastwood @ 9:45.. umuulan pa.. nasa Serye lang kame.. tapos.. what I did.. dahil talagang super sama ng loob ko.. I went through out sa katapat ng serye restau.. para lng umorder ng beer!.. kasi talagang as in super di ko kaya(yuck!.. nakakahiya talaga ko).. yung plan ko na budget ko for last night nag-exceed pa!..(buti na lang..mababait mga friends ko..) sa sobrang kagagahan ko!.. *sigh :'C. I don't have an any idea if anong oras na kami umalis ng Ewood.. kasi.. wala na yata ako sa sarili ko.. and ang naalala ko pa!.. nagyaya akong mag-swimming!.. (uhhhhggg!!!.. what the hell!..) pero.. actually.. since nasa ewood naman ako.. kahit pano nakapag-unwine naman ako konti!.. so.. napag-isip-isip ko!.. kailangan ko ng kalimutan kung ano man yung nararamdaman ko for Mr. Achuchuchu. although!.. hindi ko alam kung kaya ko bang gawin!.. eh kasi naman!.. first week pa lang.. nasaktan na ko agad!.. kamusta naman yun di'ba?!.. *sigh!.. kaya ayan tuloy!.. sinabi ko sa sarili ko na mag-llaylow lang muna ko when it comes to those things!.. syempre!.. kaya nga ako nag-aral para mag-aral!.. hindi para gumawa ng kung anik-anik na walang kakwenta-kwentang bagay!.. kagaya na lang nga nun!.. *sigh!.. ahh basta!.. yun na yun!.. so.. pag gising ko.. nasa bahay na pala kami ni ate ash!.. then.. hinatid nila ko ng 8am.. napppraning na yata sila sa'ken.. kasi hanggang kanina na hinatid nila ko.. di talaga ko nag-sasalita!.. which was.. something new to them.. kasi.. kahit naman may problem ako in any aspect.. di naman ako ganun!.. actually kahit ako.. nagtaka sa sarili ko.. ngayon ko lang na-realize na.. ang Tanga ko pala!.. :)) well.. I admit!.. pero.. It won't happen anymore!.. that's my promise to myself!.. bllleehhhh!!!.. nobody or no one can never ever make me cry na!.. :)) hay naku!.. I don't think if i'm ready to see them this Tue. buti na lang I don't have class for tomorrow!.. eto naman tong bagyo na'tp nakakainis!.. ngayon pa dumating!.. pero.. mmmmm.. kailangan ko pa siguro ng proof para talagang malaman ko kung ano ba talaga!.. kung may chance ba na maging kame.. or wala talaga!!.. :)) :'C (Lord help me please!..) that's all for today!.. kasi kailangan ko ng pahinga!.. nakakapagod din kasi umiyak sa walang kakwenta-kwentang mga bagay-bagay!..

sUpeRcALLiFrAgiLisTicExpiALidoUciOus!..

I think yan ang talagang match na match na title ko for this blog! eh pano ba naman kasi!.. super as in mix emotions ako kanina kagaya na lang nyang salitang yan.. na pinag-combine ang mag-kakaibang salita na wala naman talagang literal meaning!.. *sigh!eh pano ba naman kasi.. super as in mega dami ng nangyare kanina as in in a major power ang level!..

I woke up, 5:30 in the morning, went to the comfort room para syempre maligo, nagbihis, & kumain ng a little bit bunch of breakfast!.. and oh!.. ang tagal!.. as in ang traffic pa kanina!.. really annoying!.. I left the house @ 6:45.. syempre.. calculated na yung time ko to school.. so.. approximately,.. 30-45 mins ang distance time away from the house.. arrgghh!.. so dapat I should be in school @ more or less 7:25 nasa school na 'ko!.. mmmm.. well.. ok naman!.. nakarating naman ako.. and then!.. while walking.. super sakit pa ng paa ko.. kasi naman nagkaron ng bristles ung ankle ko.. and feeling ko pati naren ung ankle bone ko.. nagkaron na'ren ng prob. super as in Pain!.. 101 % because of my shoes!.. *sigh!.. while walking.. nakasalubong ko na ung mga classmates ko.. to the building that we were assigned!.. and oh my God!.. 3 times na palang may session ang chemistry subject ko.. pero di ako nakaka-attend!.. I wasn't that aware of the new sched. but anyway,.. Thank God!.. super very considerate ng prof. ng chem. *sigh!.. and.. I was expecting na magiging bedroom ang chemistry room.. thank God ulet!.. dahil never ako nakaramdam ng antok!.. I really had fun with it!.. dami na namang trivia na nadagdag sa utak ko.. hahaha!!.. like,..

mmm.. The American hook-ups on the moon (ewan ko kung yan ba talaga ung exact title..) basta.. it tells something about the kalokohan of americans.. na.. si Neil Armstrong daw.. which was known who was the first man who landed on the moon.. ehhhhh.. di naman daw fact un.. based on my professor's story.. when she watched the video of it.. nakita nya daw sa parang mask nung astrounaut na un which was Neil armstrong.. ehh.. may mga puno daw na nagreflect sa parang glass mask nya.. which means.. either sa studio lang daw shinoot un.. or in a dessert.. hahaha!!!.. la lang.. just shared it!.. so!.. I found her subject really interesting!.. anyway.. *sigh!.. so!.. 9:00.. after chemistry.. mathematics naman!..(college Algebra) and take note.. 9:00-12:00 un!.. which only means.. 3 hours akong makaka-kita ng numbers!.. madahas talaga!.. after naman nun.. 12:00 one of my friend.. si Gillian.. may next subject pa sya.. science naman.. she's taking up kasi mm.. com.arts. oh my!.. so.. I went out of the room!.. and guess what!.. the one that who really ever makes my day happy!.. feeling ko tuloy!.. celebrity ako.. while walking and passing by to him!.. ahahaha!!!... what the!.. kung sino man sya!.. secret walang clue!.. kai.. malalaman na ng madlang people!.. ayoko!.. ewan ko ba naman kasi eh.. since.. the very beggining f my day in La salle. sya na nakasama ko.. but.. na-aaa.. he's not my classmate.. and he's not a freshman!.. duh!.. why should I?!!.. basta!.. mag-ala. madam Auring na lang kayo.. basta!.. he'svery gentleman!.. and!.. he's very Intelligent!.. And I can see it naman eh.. It shows!.. duhh.. I'm a psychologist now(naks!.. yabang eh noh!) ahh.. basta!.. everytime na I think of him!.. kahit sobrang badtrip ako.. it really, really ever fades away!.. @least noh!.. although inaasar ako ng napaka-bait kong friendship na si Gillian!.. ok lang!.. eh sa sya ung gusto ko eh!.. nobody can manipulate my heart and what I can feel!(naks!.. super deep ko naman yata like an ocean deep) well.. isa lang masasabi ko.. ganun yata talaga!.. when the person is in love!.. kahit napaka-corny pa ng lumabas sa bibig.. nevermind!.. as in deadma!.. *sigh! all I can say is!.. 2 thumbs up ako to him!.. wala lang!.. he's my medicine(I guess?) hahaha!!!.. hay naku!.. aun!.. pero.. nakaka-confused ahh.. kasi she was with another girl na.. girlfriend yata nung friend nya!.. ewan!.. ang gulo!.. anyway.. after naman nyan!.. I went home.. actually late.. I should be in the house by 12 or 1.. but then.. I arrived already at 6pm.. eh pano naman kasi.. pinamper pa namen ni gillian ung friend namen.. at aun.. super sermon!.. but it's ok!.. kasi nagbingi-bingihan naman ako.. :)) hahaha!!!.. pero.. naiiyak din ako noh!.. duhhh.. ikaw kaya pag-isipan ng masama!.. anyway.. eventhough!.. what's the use of my med. isipin ko lang sya.. ok na ko!.. hahaha!!!.. oh dba!.. astig!.. hahaha!!!.. anyway!.. I need to go na!.. it's getting late nren.. i'm not yet having my dinner pa.. syempre di'ba!.. kamusta naman un!.. saya eh!.. anyway.. GN..

dear broken heart..

this post is dedicated to all those going through difficult matters of the heart!

"diary of a broken heart", this was my planned title for a diary-of-sort that I wanted to write when I was a brokenhearted once. I thought to myself, what if isulat ko lahat, lahat ng nararamdam ko araw araw sa loob ng isang buong taon, then i'd be able to read it when i'm healed, and see my journey from a new point of view, from denial to anger to bitterness to hope to healing or (whatever jumbled order you've experience in your own lovelife) and maybe, It might be able to help future brokenhearts out there.

but, I never got to writing it.

siguro dahil sa sobrang sakit, kapag naiisip kong magsulat, nananalo na lang yung kagustuhan kong magmukmok sa isang tabi. imbes na mag-effort pa ko na mag-isip at mag-pagod, ginusto ko na lang na wala na lang akong intindihin. hanggang sa lumipas ang mga linggo at buwan, I went through all kinds of emotions (na slightly nakakabaliw talaga yung iba ha!), until one day, I was okay!

having said all that, and having heard some of the most saddening break-up stories for the past weeks, allow me to try to reconstruct a few of the things i've learned in life, and love, that might help of that broken heart of yours or of someone you know.

1. on advice.

kapag brokenhearted ka.. no advice said to you will make you feel better. none. as in. wala. kahit ano, walang effect. kapag brokenhearted ka, the only thing that you think will make you feel better is if the one you love will say they love you too. but they won't. (in some cases, they won't ever, but in some, they won't just for this point in time.) Hugs will comfort you, concerned texts will make you smile, but no amount of advice will make you feel better.. unless! unless you decide to let it make you feel better. don't be pressured though to follow everone's advice. kanya-kanya lang yan. of the hundred cliche lines thrown at you at an attempt to make you feel better, most will not make you feel better (in fact, some will make you worse), but there will be few major lines (not necessarily given by those closest to you, mind you) that will speak to you and touch your heart and soothe your soul. those pieces of advice you hold on to.

2. on prayer

a brokenheart will wake up some days so unbelievably hopeless and wanting to just stay in bed all day. some will even go all out in saying they want to die (but of course, you don't really want to die, right?) a brokenheart will wake up some days feeling somewhat rested and peaceful, but with a slight fear that they might encounter something that day that will bring back all the pain. whatever mood the brokenheart wakes up in, one thing remains. it's a broken heart. and this may sound cheesy or false to some, but there is only one thing that can heal all things broken. our LoRd JeSuS ChriST. when your heart is peaceful, give thanks. when you heart is troubled, still give thanks and ask for deliverance. when your heart is shattered into a million pieces, still give thanks, and ask that you may learn whatever life lesson it is that he wants you to learn. in both high and low, give thanks, because it is one of the surest things in life that GoD only works for the good of those who love him.

3. on moving on.

don't be pressured! for some it takes weeks. for some it takes, months. for some, years! of course no one likes the pain that a broken heart brings. (its pain like no other! araaay! grabbeeh talaga!) but, you have to go through it. there's no short cut, there's no other way. go through it. go and let it out. cry before you go to sleep, cry when you wake up, cry in the bathroom, cry to your friends. lock yourself in the room, stay in bed all day, don't talk to anyone for hours, make senti all you want. do it all. don't let anybody to stop you. (but don't let it get in the way of school or work or the things that you have to do either! okay? okay.) feel all those yucky, disgusting, heart-shattering feelings, curl it all up into thisunbelievably sad ball, and one day, when you are ready, throw it out in the window, it will happen for you. I know you feel it won't, that the day you will be okay will never come, but it will. have faith, it will

let me stop at this third point and end by saying that i've felt those feeling of hopelessness and worthlessness that you might be feeling right now. and, it really does. but hey. nobody said that it would be easy, and nobody said that you have to do it alone

all this I share with pure sincerity from the bottom of my happy heart, to your soon-to-be happy heart! :)

Inspired to write

ang tagal, tagal, tagaaal na since my last post, and it's weird, kasi suuuper inspired na naman ako to write and there are soooot many things I want to share! I guess it just takes a certain mood and specific timing para makasulat ng maayos. kasi pakiramdam ko naman, pag minadali kong magsulat just for the sake of posting something, di ko rin magagawang i-address yung gusto kong isulat.

and now, I feel that I can.(naks!)

ang dami-dami kong gustong i-share, 'di ko lang alam where to start and how to go about it! hahaha!.. I'm having trouble in finding the right words I think.. naranasan nyo na ba yun?.. actually title pa lang ng post na 'to, nahirapan na 'ko. I used the word 'ramblings' means more to walk on and on, more like wandering, but here, I mean to just talk and talk , share and share so I hope you(you, reading this I mean!) don't mind! just killing time with me here. hehe..

inspired by Blair's look

hahaha!.. sa lahat ng nanonod ng gossip girl, i'm making it clear ha, it is Blair's look that I love.. not her ugali!.. hahahahahaha!!!.. ayyy graaabeehh!.., kaya kong titigan lang 'tong si Blair! Her hair, her clothes, her shoes, her accessories, her headbands!.. ohhh myyy!!!!.. hahaha!!!.. (okay!.. lakas maka-tibo ng sinusulat ko, pero talagang I dream na sana paggising ko, my closet looks like her closets!.. haha!!!.. Dream on Pia!.. hahaha!!.. ) and please, no spoilers, hinihintay ko pa paglabas ng dvd, so sa etc pa lang ako nanonood and it's really like how many episodes na.. atleast I have something to look forward to every week =p.

(just like my blog.. i'm looking forward to going back to posting every week!.. I thank you bow!..)